FEAR.

" I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. " Nelson Mandela

Today in my Leadership in Sport class, my professor was talking about characteristics of great leaders and how those individuals that are great leaders choose not to let fear interfere in their lives. While he continued on talking about fear and quoting great leaders, it was like something in my brain just clicked and immediately the words he was saying sunk deep within my mind and my heart.

It was one of those moments that really hit home for me and I feel like it was exactly what I needed to hear today. I am an extremely ambitious person, I love making goals for myself and then following the appropriate steps to complete them but somewhere over the last year or two, I have stopped trying so hard. I mean in the past, I have achieved some pretty great feats. For example, going in to my grade 9 year of school I decided I wanted to lose weight and get healthy (I was sick of being the "fat girl"), so I did exactly that. I lost 40+ pounds over about a year or so and all of my classmates were completely shocked when I went back to school that fall. I also decided to try out for my rugby team in high school, not only did I make the team but I played for 4 years and got asked to play on the Provincial team. Rugby turned in to one of my greatest passions but what if I let fear get the best of me? I never would of learned to love the game. This just shows that having high hopes for myself and actually following through can take you to great places and help you grow as a person. However, somewhere along the way I have stopped setting goals for myself and I stopped believing in myself.

I feel like 2013 is a brand new start for me. Lately, I am craving something to work towards. I am craving structure, goals, and new beginnings. I want 2013 to be a great year for me and I want to stop letting fear get the best of me. I know how powerful I can be when I set my mind to something and I know that if I work through the fear, I can "find" myself again. There are always thoughts and worries weighing me down such as "what if I don't get accepted in to physiotherapy on my first try?" or "what if I keep putting my health/fitness last on my list of responsibilities?" or "what if I keep letting your temper get the best of me?" or "what if my health problems are never resolved?". I realize now that it is okay to be fearful and it is okay to be worried about not living up to your expectations but you never know if it is possible unless you try. Unless you make goals and strive towards them and do your very best with what you have at that time. 

I will leave you with something my professor said today in class. He said "Fear is inevitable and it is terrifying but you have to face it and break through those barriers. I promise that facing your fears will help you feel liberated".

How profound eh? I am vowing to push my limits and break through those boundaries I place in the way of achieving goals. 2013 is my year after all!