I have been so MIA lately. Partially because I am so darn busy with work and getting settled in at home, but also partially because I needed a break. I do miss blogging though a lot and I am hoping get back into it again soon. I need to replace my blackberry with a new phone soon, so hopefully I will have better access to social media & blogging. Anyways, there has been something on my mind lately and I need to get it off my chest.
Even though I am almost 21 years old, I feel like I am just getting to that adulthood "crossroads" now. Yes, I have lived on my own for the past 3 years and had to go through learning how to take care of myself while going to school full time and being away from my family. However, now that I have moved home again for awhile being an "adult" is getting more and more real. I just keep thinking how this will be the last time I live at home and pretty soon there will be no turning back. I will be forced to make big, tough decisions that could affect the rest of my life. Things like furthing my school (occupational therapy or something else?), getting married, having children, buying a house, etc. You know, all those "adult" adventures. It just doesn't seem real that I am already 21 years old, I swear just yesterday I graduated from high school.
I guess what I am getting at is that life is pretty scary the older you get. So many tricky decisions, choices that will affect and shape the rest of your life. Everything seems so uncertain right now for me and that scares the crap out of me. It makes me emotional and stressed out. I am somebody who likes to have a plan but I need to learn to go with the flow and trust that I will end up where I am meant to be. I just don't want to look back on my early years and regret not taking more chances or being more adventurous and spontaneous. I want to look back and say "wow my life was full, crazy, and amazing" and " I really lived life to the fullest". It's okay that nothing is certain, it's okay to be scared and cautious and worry about the unknown. However, it's also okay to throw caution to the wind and let yourself be young, wild and free. That is exactly my plan. I want to stop stressing and being so uptight and just live. Plain and simple. Life is so rich!
Just some food for thought. It is something that has been on my mind lately, so I am glad to post about this topic and get the weight off my shoulders.
Have you ever been at the "adults crossroads"? How did you deal with it?
Please tell me "adulthood" isn't all that bad. I don't want to grow up just yet!