Lately, I have been struggling. To keep sane over the next couple months while I wait for answers on my schooling and also since I am only working 2 days a week. I feel like people these days are so focused on filling up there schedules to the max that everyone is in a constant frenzied, rushed state. I am guilty of this as well. In high school it was rugby, 4-H, and time spent with friends. During university, it was copious amounts of school work and studying mixed with volunteering as much as possible. Now during this "in between" phase, where I unexpectedly have a couple months with a very free schedule, I am at a loss of what to do with all of my spare time.
At first, I felt really frustrated and depressed. I am someone who likes to keep busy and focused on a goal. Brandon often tells me that I am too rigid and stick to plans way too much. He begs me to be someone who goes with the flow more and just enjoys the moment. Its a fair complaint really. I like having plans, whether it be a plan for what I'm doing each day or a big plan for my future. I have mentioned to him that I dont not want to think of marriage, buying a home, or starting a family until I'm done school. I guess, I have always had a plan set out for myself. I always kind of pictured my life a certain way and it scares me to stray from that grand plan.
Essentially, I am always so busy planning my life that I forgot to really live it.
It does suck that I am in limbo right now. I would like to be working lots while I can and before I go back to school. But its okay to slow down once in awhile and just live. For example, this morning I slept in until 8:30, woke up and made myself a nice breakfast, cleaned and organized my room, did laundry, and cuddled with my pets. This afternoon I plan on working out, going for a walk in this winter wonderland with missy, and having a relaxing bubble bath. I am not sitting around watching endless hours of t.v. or sleeping all day. I am getting things done I have wanted to do for awhile and I am focusing on being my happiest, healthiest self.
I hope from now on I can be more content with being spontaneous and just letting life happen like it is supposed to. Everything has a way of working itself out.