Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Wishing time away

There has been something on my mind for awhile now and I feel like I need to write it down and get it off my chest. It seems to me that our world is so busy fretting over the future and what is to come and wishing for time to speed up, instead of soaking up each and every moment.

I will admit that I do the same thing. Ever since I got accepted to university and started my first year, I have been counting down the days, months, years until I'm done. I can honestly say that the last 3 years did fly by and the memories are already hazy to me. I can't really recall what courses I took when or what I did outside of school. I know that I loved my 3 years at UofW but I don't remember very many specifics. That is quite a sad thought for me. University is a huge part of my life and it was something I looked forward to since I was a kid and now that it's almost over... its already fading into the back of my mind. I want to be able to look back on certain parts of my life and be able to recall memories and stories and tell those stories to my children and grandchildren. I want to stop wishing for the next step in my life to come quicker and instead really enjoy and savour every step along the way. 

 For many people, the thought of the unknown or unpredictable scares them, just like it scares me. I think it's very natural to be scared or apprehensive of the future and whats to come. I am almost done 3 years of university and I can honestly tell you that everything from here on out is up in the air right now. I plan to move home at the end of April and live with my parents for awhile to save money. I am hopefully going to take a couple courses from a university closer to my home town in the Fall to finish my degree and work to make some money. I am applying for physiotherapy this Fall and if I get an interview & get accepted that will begin next August. What I fail to tell people though when they ask about my future is that I am unsure about whether I actually want to do physio. I mean yes it would be a good job, but I'm not positive its the job for me. I really want to have a job that excites and challenges me daily and I am open to trying new things and furthering my education beyond my 3 year degree. I am finally accepting the fact that it's okay not to know who or what you want to be. It's okay to take a year off, move back in with your parents, and "sort out" your life. I am hoping to really be able to grow as a person over the next year and discover who I am (beyond school & careers). In other words, I am excited to live in the moment. To try new things. To push my boundaries. To grow as a person and just live again. I have been putting "living" on the back burner and I find myself craving some spontaneity and adventure.

 It is so easy to get wrapped up in your goals and solely focus on the end product, but what about everything in between now and reaching those goals? Every single moment is important. There is no better time than now to try something new, challenge yourself, laugh a little louder, take more pictures, reconnect with nature, have valuable relationships, volunteer your spare time, go on a spontaneous trip, and just live. Not worry about tomorrow or a year from now, just live in the here and now cause that's all that truly matters.

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